My dear spirit, this cloudburst is not a storm

As a lover of learning, naturally, I would have the dictionary app on my phone and save words of the day that I find interesting. Today I came across this word:

Cloudburst – a sudden and very heavy rainfall

Saved. If this is not the universe sending me little signs, I’m not sure what it is.

Being on the job hunt for nearly 3 months and seeing very little signs of hope brought me down into a serious state of episodic depression (which does not help during interviews lol). Sulking is usually not a part of my demeanor but these past few weeks, however, I am numb. Hopeless. Entirely caught up in my bed sheets of self-deprecating thoughts. A vicious cycle that only continues to spiral downward really.

How can you believe in yourself when no one else believes in you? Rejection after rejection.  Each little letter of “Thanks, but we found someone more qualified” turns into significant blows to the ego.

So, cloudburst. This was a little reminder to myself that everyone has cloudbursts throughout their lives. Some much heavier and more prominent than others. Some might be downpouring. Some people’s cloudbursts might have thunder. Others lit up with strikes of lightning. Or both.

Anyway, it’s important for everyone to tell themselves “I am capable”, “I am strong” and “I believe in my purpose”. I can weather this little cloudburst of mine, and you can too. Because it is only temporary rainfall – nothing permanent.

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