a letter to my big brother who is struggling with addiction

To my brother:

My heart is aching for you. I’m sure you know that I know by now that you’re struggling with a drug addiction.

It pains me incredibly to hear you’re hurting. I understand this isn’t easiest for you to talk about. It’s difficult for me to find words to express myself to you. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through because I’ve not experienced it. Although I can say that I’m feeling the same heartache from dad’s death, as all four of us are.

Never in my life have I endured such heartbreak from losing dad. Resulting in me also self-medicating to an extent. In an attempt to numb the overwhelming grief, regret, anger, sadness, pain – you name it.

The cards we were dealt are not ideal and it feels unfair most days. Making everything dark and purposeful less. But I’ve come to find light in little things like being alive to see another day. A really good cup of coffee. A stranger smiling at me.

Anyway, my point behind this letter is to let you know I love you very much and think about you every day.

You are so strong. You are all that you need to be. You are you and that makes you a special person in my life. You are loved by many, especially me.

Conquering this is something you can’t do alone. I am here for you if you need support. I know I’m not there physically, but I’m only a phone call away.

We all love you very much, including dad. He was always so proud of you and still is to this day. Never forget that.

My heart is always with you.

Love you big bro,

A

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